My Dreams....

This is a picture of Alex the day after he was born.  I was triumphant, yet so tired.  You can see it in my eyes.

Almost immediately after his birth, I started dreaming about the future.  I remember, the day we drove him home, I dreamt of his High School graduation.  Alex was about 6'2", in a black gown with a black hat.  I fit right underneath his arm to take a picture. I was such a proud mama.

Two months after his birth, I was at a wedding.  The groom did a father mother dance and I balled the whole time.  I dreamt of dancing with Alex on his wedding day.  I could feel everyone watching us as we swayed on the wooden floor.

I dream often of cooking with Alex and my other children, all three of them.  Of course Zach and I are still debating on the third, but time will tell.  But as of right now, there are three in my dreams.  My guts tell me they are boy, girl, boy.

I look forward to the day where all my children will help me cook in the kitchen.  I have a dream each child is in charge of an aspect of dinner, listening to music, and dancing around the kitchen together.  I look forward to baking cookies with them.  I look forward to making rice krispie treats.  I want to make holiday gifts with them and pass them out to our neighbors.

I have dreams of caroling on Christmas night.  Every time I dream about caroling, it's always in front of my friend Carrie's house.  So, Carrie... the whole gang is coming!

I dream of big Christmases and Thanksgivings.  Of Sunday meals.  Of playing board games on Friday nights.  Of having family movie nights.  I look forward to child sleepovers.  I look forward to making pancakes and french toast.

All these dreams I look forward to doing someday.  I hope by admitting my dreams to you and myself, they will all come true someday.

My final dream is that, in my old age, all my kids are happily married.  I have 6 grandchildren.  I was happily married with Zach for a long long time.  In my final dream, I lie in bed and drift off to sleep and never wake up.  That is how I hope my story ends.  I want a full and happy life full of no regrets.