Are we ready for baby number two??

Alex is now almost 16 months.  The internal debate of are we ready for baby number two is on our minds.  I keep going back in forth between what is the point of working right now and trying to establish a career if I'm going to get pregnant again? And the fear of having two babies...

I joined a mommy group called the "First Time Moms" when I was pregnant.  This group has been a lifesaver in my adjustments of being a first time mom, but now our children are getting older and many of us are thinking about our second child.  We may have to rename our group.

Our friend Erin is the pioneer of our group.  She gave birth to her second child two weeks ago.  I feel like a female chimp around a mother chimp wanting to learn more.  I'm in awe of the newborn and what life could be like with a second child.  And of course, like all first time mothers, I'm afraid what the affects of having baby number 2 would have on my baby number 1.

I went to go visit Erin last week.  I was very interested to see how Alex would handle me holding a baby.  Instantly when holding baby Vin, I realized how difficult it would be to give attention to Alex.  I watched Alex to see what he would do.

Alex walked over and gently started caressing the babies head.  I was ecstatic, this may not be so bad after all.  Then something happened, which I've only seen him do a couple times, Alex kissed the baby on the forehead!  He had given me a couple open mouthed kisses on the cheek before, so it was amazing to see him being affectionate towards the newborn.  As Alex took a couple steps a way I starting to relax in the idea of having baby number 2 until Alex came back and smacked the newborn in the face.

Erin and I both screamed "NO!!"  Poor Alex got so frightened he started crying.  I felt mortified.  I was so surprised, I didn't know what to do.  Do I discipline Alex?  He's too young to really understand what he's doing?  What is Erin going to think about what just happened?  I appologized and handed her her baby back.  The nice thing about baby number 1 is... you don't have to worry about a brother smacking it around, a new element with having a second child.

Erin needed to get both kids to the newborn's 2 week doctor's appointment.  Her husband was at work and she was worried about trying to travel with both kids.  I was able to go so I offered to join her and help.  When I arrived Erin was trying to get both her kids ready for the trip.  She had to wake up the newborn to put him in the car seat.  Of course it wasn't well received and the baby started to cry.  As Erin was trying to sooth the newborn, her eldest started to cry too.  Now if anyone has been at my house when Alex starts to cry, they have experienced the three dogs who chime in and howl at the same time.  This felt very similar. (Oh God... I would have a newborn crying, Alex, and three dogs??  God help me.)  But it was amazing to watch Erin first sooth the newborn and then sooth the eldest and the balance back and forth until both boys stopped crying.

The doctors appointment went off without a hitch.  As we get back to the car to load both boys, the newborn starts crying again.  How is it that newborns have such a blood curdling scream?  Erin was wonderful and patient.  My only comforting thought was maybe it's easier when it's your own child doing the crying?  I remember how hard it was to listen to Alex cry like that all day for the first couple months.  I'm so thankful he doesn't cry like that anymore.  Am I ready to do that again?  Is my body ready?  Am I ready emotionally?  Is my sanity ready to handle not only a newborn, but two children at once??  I want to have our children close together, but there are so many pros and cons to having a second one now vs. waiting.

For the last 8 months or so we've been calling Erin's baby "Baby Yalla #2".  Well, "Baby Griffith #2" is being discussed and will make a debut sometime in the next year...

Here are some pictures of Alex as a newborn and his first venture out of the house...

A Trip of a Lifetime

One of the brilliant things about Facebook is the ability to find people you haven't seen in ages.  There was one person in particular, who I've thought about for years.  I spent 4-6 of my teenage years growing up with her, she moved to Hawaii and I always wondered what happened to her.  Every mutual friend we have asks me if I've seen or heard from her and I'm usually asking them the same.

One friend finally found her.  God knows she has over 500 friends on Facebook and she doesn't use it that often.  That's the girl I know.  She had the perfect body, she was always followed by a herem of men, and if anyone knows how to network... it's her.

Apparently, she's living up the single life in Hawaii, her body is still perfect and she's a bartender.  She's bought an apartment in Hawaii and she traveled to Europe for 2 months last year.  While she's telling me this my hairs of jealousy started to twang.  I know... she may be embellishing, a happy single life might not be all it's cracked up to be, but my freedom was the one thing I was afraid to give up when I became a parent.

She invited me out to Hawaii to come visit.  I got wrapped up in thoughts of how to justify spending the money for me to fly solo to Hawaii.  I got wrapped up in thoughts of how I could ask my husband, who works so hard, to watch our son so I can go relax in the Hawaii sun.  I got wrapped up in the thoughts of having more children and how hard it would be to take a trip like that anytime soon.

God!  Europe!  If you asked me what my current dreams would be... my two travel dreams are: to kiss my husband on top of the Eiffel Tower and to drink wine in Italy.  Those two trips are on my bucket list.

Becoming a parent, I am trying to come to terms with trips like that probably won't be checked off for a long time.

I turned on my Facebook and my sister had posted a picture we had taken in Paris in 2008.  I opened my picture folder on my computer and our Europe pictures have a whole new meaning.

Our mother is English.  I had not been to England since I was 7, right before the passing of my grandfather.  Going back had a lot of nostalgia.  We went to England and Paris.  Flipping through the pictures brought a smile to my face... here are a few...

England of course, the great Stonehenge.

Big Ben...

 London Eye..

 Tea Time with mom's cousin...

The birth place of Shakespeare...

 And my favorite when I was a kid... the Roman Bath...

After England we spent some time in France.

The castle of Mont Saint-Michel...

In Paris, on my 28 birthday, of course we had to go to "The Museum of Wine".  I ran a wine meetup group for a year... yes, I'm somewhere between a wine snob and a wino.  The museum wasn't that exciting, but the thought of the wine and cheese pairing at the end still makes my mouth drool.

 The Louvre...

 Mom and Deanne at the Mona Lisa...

 Notre Dame...

And my sister and I on the Eiffel Tower...

which someday will be a picture of me and my husband...


I don't think I nearly appreciated the trip as much as I should have, but now looking at the pictures, I am very grateful that I was able to go.  I think of the places I've been and I consider myself lucky.  I hope there will be more fun exciting trips in the future, but for now.. I will continue to annoy my Facebook friends with millions of pictures of my son whom I get to enjoy on a daily basis.

DIET... is die with a T.

Garfield was my favorite cartoon when I was growing up.  I had 3 maybe 5 of his cartoon books.  The cartoon I laughed hardest at was one picture long and it said "DIET... is die with a T".

The holidays are here and I never expect how bad I eat until the day after Halloween.  At least once a week my husband will say while sitting in a sea of wrappers, "We need to throw out the Halloween candy!!"  Every morning I wake up and think about it, that's when I'd have the power to do it, but from 3-10pm is when my inner chocolate vampire comes out and at the end of the night I stare at my victims.

I keep thinking I need to eat better!  I need to diet!  We are in the middle of the holidays!  It's gonna keep getting worse!

I feel like we are on a slide and come January we are spit out, fat, broke, cold, dark, and praying for spring.  So this holiday season I am deciding to add to my diet not take away.  I figure that way I'm more likely to stick to it.  Here is how I'm going to do it:

1.  Eat more often.  Every two hours.
I was told by many personal trainers in order to loose weight you have to eat 5 times a day.


2.  Try to eat 5-7 fruits and vegetables a day.
Fruits and Vegetables are not only good for you, but they are high in fiber, so they will keep you full longer.


3.  Drink more water.
Usually we eat when we are really thirsty.  Try to have a glass of water 1/2 an hour to an hour before you eat again... therefore, you'll eat less.


4.  Eat more protein.
Filling and helps fight sugar cravings.


So here's the deal.  I'm not going to tell myself not to have something, but if I'm consuming more of these things, I am less likely to consume things I shouldn't be having.  I loose my cravings and I'm more in control of my diet.

The easiest way to do this is to keep a daily journal.  I try to eat every two hours and on the other hours I have a huge glass of water.  I check it off throughout the day.  I keep a list of the fruits and vegetables at the bottom of the list so I remember what is in the fridge.  All in all, this keeps my ravenous cravings under control.

I hope this gives some of you ideas on how to survive the holidays.

Tis the Season and Happy Holidays!!

Playing in the Clouds

It's a cloudy November morning.  Definitely a pj and french toast kinda day.  I had a meeting scheduled for 10:15am, but it was rescheduled to Monday.  Pjs it is!!

I keep thinking of all the pins I pin on pinterest.  How many do I actually do?  There are so many great cooking and baking recipes and activities to do with your kids that I vow to see what easy pins I can actually accomplish.  I wanted to play with my son this morning, so I was on the hunt for a pin that I had all the ingredients to.  Sure enough, I had the ingredients for Cloud Dough.

Cloud Dough: 8 cups of flour, 1 cup of baby oil. 

I've had friends make this before and tell me how fun it is.  I've felt it before and it is really soft and "cloud-like".  So I gave it a try.

At first I was nervous I did it wrong.  When I mixed it together and it was kinda gross.  But sure enough, it came out great.

I started with the recipe and then doubled it when we started having fun....

It felt like summer in the fall, a sandbox in my kitchen.  This was more pleasant than sand.  Much of it didn't stay in the box, but I wasn't worried because the pin said clean up was a breeze.

He did make quite a mess.

I checked the pin for the clean up solution.....   And there was none.....

I started to panic.  I am a mediocre house cleaner at best.  Can you vacuum flour???

So I swept it off the carpet and on to the linoleum with a broom, vacuumed the carpets, swiffered the floor,  and it was back to normal.  Clean up was easy.

Even though I find flour in the most random places now, it was a lot of fun and I'd do it again.  We have a box of clouds in our garage and the ingredients are simple enough that I can keep adding to the box I have.

The Truth About Pregnancy.

This is me.

2 days before I was induced, or "pop" as so many people kindly put it.

Food for thought... it may be in everyone's best interest not to insult the hormonal pregnant lady... just saying.

When I was pregnant I felt I was on a 9 month roller coaster ride.  Everyone told me to get on, but once I was on it, I couldn't get off and there was no turning back.  When I think of a poor first time mom... I think of the poor virgin who gets a huge party before she is thrown into the volcano.  A poor lamb who innocently is thrown to the lion.  When I meet a first time mom, I have fear, pitty, and excitement for her.

The only problem with the sacrificial virgin analogy?  She did sleep with him and she will spend 9 months fearing if she made the right decision.  It may sound harsh... but it's true. 

What went through my mind when I first got pregnant?  I was scared of how my life would change. I didn't know if we were "ready"?  I didn't know if we were "able"?  The answers are:  Your life will change dramatically.  It will get easier and you will eventually get use to it.  You will never be "ready" and you are definitely "able" in ways you didn't know you were capable of.

All I wanted to hear when I was pregnant was that it was "all going to be worth it".  I am here to say.... it is and it will be.  A child brings more joy to your life than you ever thought possible.  But with that, there is a lot of work and sleepless nights.

But...





















it... will...   all...





















be...























worth... it.




And for some reason, you'll sign up to do it again.... and maybe again.

THE FIRST TRIMESTER
So, you just found out you are pregnant.  Chances are you are 6-8 weeks along.  The only problem is...  you can't tell anybody.  Why?  Because 80% of miscarriages happen in the first trimester.  Those 6 weeks are hellish!  You are petrified of losing a child you don't even have yet.  For 6 weeks you will check the toilet EVERY TIME YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM for signs of blood or a miscarriage.  Now assuming you survive the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, you will probably experience dizziness, nausea, dry heaving, throwing up, constantly tired, and constant needing to pee.  You will learn "morning sickness" is not only in the morning, and that beyond TUMS there is no medication you can take to feel better. So DON'T GET SICK.  I never threw up in the first trimester.  I did eat a lot of triscuits tho.  About a box a week.  Around 10 weeks all my symptoms went away.  I was convinced I had miscarried.  All of a sudden I wished the symptoms were back, just so I knew I was still pregnant.  Sounds crazy and it is. A lack of symptoms is short lived, so enjoy it while you can. At your monthly doctor appointments you will learn you are a pin cushion.  You will be poked and prodded for quite a long time.  If you are afraid of needles, you'll get over that quick.  But, the ultrasounds and seeing your baby on that screen makes it all worth it.

THE SECOND TRIMESTER
Oh!  Hello!  All of my symptoms came back!  I got most of my morning sickness at the beginning of the second trimester, but of course all woman are different and will have different experiences.  There is a long list of foods pregnant woman are told to avoid during pregnancy.  With it all... I think I could still eat lettuce?  They took away everything I loved: sushi, brie, blue cheese, feta, sunny side up eggs, jacuzzis, tuna, cold cuts, tea, and alcohol.  The more they said I couldn't have it the more I wanted it.  My doctor said as long as I consumed with moderation I could still have most of these things, so ask your doctor what you really can have.  But that was my green light.  I pretty much ignored all the things I was suppose to avoid with the exception of alcohol (although I did have a little wine. If I have to be honest.)  I drank an obscene amount of English tea while pregnant.  It's hot, it's comforting, and with the perpetual sore throat and stuffy nose I had through out my pregnancy, it was the only medication I could give myself.

Food cravings?  All food on tv looked amazing!  I knew I was in trouble when food on cartoons looked delicious!  I was such a healthy eater before I got pregnant and that all went out the window.  I didn't want anything that resembled a vegetable near me.  I ate more french fries in the 9 months of being pregnant than I had eaten in my entire life.  I thought eating snickers during sex would be the most amazing experience ever!  (Course it probably could be, I never tried it.  If you do... let me know what you think.)   I couldn't be around meat for about a month.  I was convinced I was the only vegetarian pregnant lady who couldn't eat vegetables on earth.  I threw up one morning when I saw a chef make a meatloaf on tv and the only other time I threw up was the very expensive Valentine's Day dinner my husband took me to which was short-ribbed induced.  Sorry honey.  My other weird food issues?  I made shrimp enchiladas because I thought shrimp were not "that meat like" and although I thoroughly cleaned and deveined each shrimp, I couldn't eat it.  I ate 3 oranges a day for 3 days and I hate oranges.  I had chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream for dinner 3 times.  I thought that was totally normal.  My weirdest craving was nachos with chocolate chips.  Yes, chocolate chips on top of my nachos.  There are times I still think that sounds good, so I don't know if that was just a pregnant thing?  I ate 1 lb of sees candy in two weeks.  (I highly recommend not getting your husband a 1 lb box of sees candy while you are pregnant.  I think he had 3 pieces.)

Second trimester was the best!!  Well...  as long as you can get past the throwing up, feeling sick, peeing yourself constantly, always running to the bathroom, your ass is on fire, random anal pain, boobs are huge and heavy, nipple color changes, breaking out like a teenager, and people wondering if you are pregnant or fat...past all that... second trimester is the best!!

THE THIRD TRIMESTER
Congratulations!  You are in the home stretch!  And if you are tripping on whether people are wondering if you are pregnant or fat... you are certainly looking pregnant!  Unfortunately, aches and pains come with the third trimester.  The baby is starting to get heavy.  Your baby will double in size, your ankles swell, baby is moving and kicking, your back hurts, you have trouble sleeping, and there is a large host of health issues you may be facing.  I had round ligament spasms for the last 6 weeks of pregnancy which was severe pelvic pain. Yep.. those were a long 6 weeks.  Hemorrhoids, diarrhea, and constipation all kicked in.  The third trimester, was where people say stupid stuff like, "You are not going to gain anymore weight, are you?  You know where that baby has to come from?" Um... Thanks.  Never mind that my baby is going to double in size, so no, I wasn't planning on gaining anymore weight.  Twice during my pregnancy I had people say, "You have such pretty hair.  Too bad it will all fall out after you give birth."  Truth is: you will loose vast amounts of hair 3-4 months after giving birth, but it will grow back or be unnoticeable (at least that is what happened to me, can't speak for all woman).  And the ever popular question while pregnant, "So are you afraid of pooping on the table at childbirth?"  Truth is: it is common for woman crap while giving birth.  This happens because brilliant people say "giving birth is like taking the largest poop of your life."  If you are pushing like you are taking a crap, chances you are you will.  I had a friend explain that "pushing" is like doing a reverse Kegel.  It helped me.  I even had a nurse say how amazed she was I didn't poop on the table, so I patted myself on the back. 

CHILDBIRTH
Childbirth is a mother's battlefield.  A war that every pregnant woman faces.  She will win, but she will not come out unscathed.  Us mothers, when we all get together, it is often a topic of conversation.  The bigger the child, the harder the labor, the more we mothers commiserate on their war wounds.  The only things I can say is....  If you have a friend giving birth: give her flowers and make her family dinner.  It will take her weeks to heal, her hormones are crazy, she's overwhelmed, overstimulated, and she is expected to take care of a screaming newborn.  That is no easy task, so even if she denies your help, give it anyway.  If you are married to someone giving birth: you are an idiot if you don't give her flowers and a "PUSH" present should be expected!  The size of a push present should be equal to the size present you would want after being electrocuted every couple minutes for however long your poor wife had contractions.

Stretch Marks?  They were something I was scared of throughout my pregnancy.  All woman want to bounce back after pregnancy.  I have come to accept that I'm no celebrity who has personal trainers and nutritionists so I can look better than I did before giving birth.  But the one thing I can say is, when I see my stretch marks, I wear them with pride.  They are proof and a daily reminder that I carried my son for 9 months.  And for that, I'm proud.

But truth be told, when I see a pregnant woman now, I think she is beautiful and amazing.  I have vast amounts of respect for pregnant woman and for all the body changes they have to go through.  What we do throughout pregnancy is a miracle.  We think girls turn into woman at puberty?  I think a woman becomes a woman during pregnancy and she deserves nothing short of the utmost respect.

Life is like cooking...

Every have one of those days where you feel like you did so much, but in reflecting on your day, you can't think of a single thing you did?

As a mother, I find myself thinking that often.  But today it dawned on me.  My realization as to why that happens and how I can change it.

I love to cook and I realized that everything on my to do list can be looked at as a recipe.

There is the prep, the cooking, the meal, and the clean up.

In those 4 actions, which ones do you get credit for?  If someone asked you at the end of the day, "what did you do today" what would you answer?  Which ones make you feel like you've accomplished something today?

The answer is only one.  It's the meal.

Do you get credit for prepping for a meal and not making it?  Do you get credit for burning a meal and can't eat it?  After the meal is eaten do you get credit for cleaning the kitchen?  The answer is no.

So in reflecting on my day today, I have chosen to acknowledge that maybe I haven't made a lot of "meals" today, but spending time "prepping" for homemade Christmas gifts or "finishing" the laundry all count in my recap of my day.

If I find I don't have a lot of meals in my day.  I find things on my to do list which have short prep and clean up time.  I have a 10 minute organizing column. The column lists all the areas of the house that I can spend 10 minutes organizing (ie. cubbards, closets, toy chest).  If all else fails, I can throw a 10 minute organizing session in my day, my cubbards and closets get a little TLC and I can feel like I accomplished something.

My Sleeping Baby

Alex has a virus which is going around. He is the cheeriest and the happiest kid during the day, but has a fever and cries throughout the night. Needless to say.. This mama hasn't gotten much sleep. I'm exhausted.

For Alex's nap time today, I decided to try something new. Alex's room is pretty warm, and as much as I tell myself to get blackout curtains for his room, it's pretty bright in there.  So I crossed my fingers and brought him into my bed and prayed he'd fall asleep. Our room is cool and with our curtains, it had to be nicer and easier to sleep than his room.  And sure enough, he fell right to sleep,

which is a wonderful change from the climbing baby I usually get when I try to get him to sleep next to me.

But of course, I can't sleep.

I've always struggled sleeping next to Alex. When he was a newborn he lasted two weeks in our room. I think I was anxious and worried if he was breathing and if he was ok.  That kept me from sleeping.  As a new mother with a constantly screaming newborn, sleep was important.  If he needed to sleep in the nursery, so I could have a bit of "out of sight out of mind", weeks earlier than I would have liked, then it had to happen.  But laying here, next to my baby, I think of the joy other mothers must get from sleeping next to their babies.

But then of course, I think of the baby positions cartoon:

Alex is very good at "the neck scarf":

But I have to admit I have envy when I see pictures of my friends cuddling and napping with their kids.  I know a lot of them are having a hard time making the transition, trying to get their kids out of their room and into their nurseries.  I know other mothers might envy that Alex does sleep in his room.  But, watching a baby sleep is one of the most amazing things as a parent.  I don't get to see it often and it's such a nice experience seeing it, laying next to him.  He looks so peaceful and innocent.





Oh God!






He just woke up.






I put my phone down and pretended to be asleep.  He sat up.  Looked around and sucked on his pacifier.






He giggled.








And then pounced on me.







Good thing I wasn't actually asleep.





It's only been an hour.  Alex has been taking 3 hour naps for the last 2 days.  I'm afraid if he doesn't go back to sleep I'm going to have an angry cranky kid on my hands.

He starts to cry.  (The agony cry he's been doing for the last two nights.)  His head feels a little warm.  I'm praying I can get him back to sleep.

He sits up, flings himself down, sits up, flings himself down.  Finally I put him on his stomach (cause that's how he likes to sleep) I rub his back and in a few moments....

He's back asleep.  (Lucky moment number 2 of the day)

I guess I'm getting up and making some coffee.  I love those few times I can sleep next to Alex.  Those are moments I really enjoy.  But I guess this is not one of those moments.