My Sleeping Baby

Alex has a virus which is going around. He is the cheeriest and the happiest kid during the day, but has a fever and cries throughout the night. Needless to say.. This mama hasn't gotten much sleep. I'm exhausted.

For Alex's nap time today, I decided to try something new. Alex's room is pretty warm, and as much as I tell myself to get blackout curtains for his room, it's pretty bright in there.  So I crossed my fingers and brought him into my bed and prayed he'd fall asleep. Our room is cool and with our curtains, it had to be nicer and easier to sleep than his room.  And sure enough, he fell right to sleep,

which is a wonderful change from the climbing baby I usually get when I try to get him to sleep next to me.

But of course, I can't sleep.

I've always struggled sleeping next to Alex. When he was a newborn he lasted two weeks in our room. I think I was anxious and worried if he was breathing and if he was ok.  That kept me from sleeping.  As a new mother with a constantly screaming newborn, sleep was important.  If he needed to sleep in the nursery, so I could have a bit of "out of sight out of mind", weeks earlier than I would have liked, then it had to happen.  But laying here, next to my baby, I think of the joy other mothers must get from sleeping next to their babies.

But then of course, I think of the baby positions cartoon:

Alex is very good at "the neck scarf":

But I have to admit I have envy when I see pictures of my friends cuddling and napping with their kids.  I know a lot of them are having a hard time making the transition, trying to get their kids out of their room and into their nurseries.  I know other mothers might envy that Alex does sleep in his room.  But, watching a baby sleep is one of the most amazing things as a parent.  I don't get to see it often and it's such a nice experience seeing it, laying next to him.  He looks so peaceful and innocent.





Oh God!






He just woke up.






I put my phone down and pretended to be asleep.  He sat up.  Looked around and sucked on his pacifier.






He giggled.








And then pounced on me.







Good thing I wasn't actually asleep.





It's only been an hour.  Alex has been taking 3 hour naps for the last 2 days.  I'm afraid if he doesn't go back to sleep I'm going to have an angry cranky kid on my hands.

He starts to cry.  (The agony cry he's been doing for the last two nights.)  His head feels a little warm.  I'm praying I can get him back to sleep.

He sits up, flings himself down, sits up, flings himself down.  Finally I put him on his stomach (cause that's how he likes to sleep) I rub his back and in a few moments....

He's back asleep.  (Lucky moment number 2 of the day)

I guess I'm getting up and making some coffee.  I love those few times I can sleep next to Alex.  Those are moments I really enjoy.  But I guess this is not one of those moments.